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Post-divorce signs of anxiety in children

Dealing with divorce is not easy for anyone in New York. It can sometimes seem that the whole family is unraveling, since decisions made by the court about how the children will be raised and where they will live sometimes feel arbitrary. But many parents decide to put aside their differences while finalizing issues related to child custody. They may negotiate with each other on the custody arrangements and visitation plans, so that their children are not affected emotionally.

However, despite taking all steps to ensure that the negotiations during a divorce settlement are fair and smooth, parents are often concerned if their decision to divorce has added additional stress for their children. A good first step is to observe the children post-divorce and see if they are socially active. Meeting friends, taking phone calls and going to the movies may suggest that they are maintaining a comfortable level of social involvement. However, if they seems withdrawn and do not want to meet friends, then this may be a cause for concern. Sometimes, they may not want to speak about the divorce or talk to anyone, which may be a sign of depression. Parents should also check them for any physical signs of cutting or mutilation. This can be a sign of emotional pain.

If the children maintain spirituality, good grades, do their chores at home and keep up with their interests and hobbies, then these may be indications that they are coping well. Also, if they still like to go to a favorite hangout and still do the usual things with their parents, then this could be a sign that they are on the right path after a divorce.

However, while the child may take some time to adjust to post-divorce life, the parents should make sure not to verbally or physically abuse each other in front of the child. Also, adhering to the child custody arrangement and maintaining cordial relations with each other may be helpful. And if the parents feel that the child custody arrangement needs to be changed to better suit the best interests of the child, they may then choose to seek a child custody modification.

Source: Huffington Post, "10 Signs Your Kid Is Adjusting Well To The Divorce," Wendi Schuller, July 20, 2014

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